I used to believe in keeping it casual.
You see, if you never get attached – never learn their favorite color, song, or even what the things were that kept them up at night…then you couldn’t get hurt.
And for a while, that worked.
But then it didn’t.
You see, casual dating eventually just isn’t the move.
Sure, you remind yourself you can’t get hurt. Yet after a while, you realize it’s because you’re compartmentalizing your emotions and subconscious desire for something deeper.
Okay, by now you’re probably rolling your eyes – especially if you’re under 30. And I get it: I mean, the cool thing about casual relationships is there are never any real expectations. There’s no accountability. There is no getting hurt because you never have enough time together to reach that point.
But eventually, someone comes into your life and convinces you to give them a chance. You tell yourself that you know how this will end, but you decide to stop being so pragmatic and give them that one chance that they keep begging for.
And wow. Things are magical.
You feel on top of the world.
But then, months pass, and eventually, you realize that you’re waking up next to a completely different person. After the newness fades, you see people for who they are once they realize they’ve “got you.”
But here’s the kicker: when you know you’re a badass deserving of the most beautiful, healthy love, then you refuse to let anyone convince you otherwise.
I’m a firm believer in not staying anywhere or with anyone that fails to see your value.
Do breakups sting?
Oh, yeah they do.
But is it better to break up, before you break down?
You know it, baby.
This probably hasn’t turned you on to the idea of relationships if you already weren’t a fan.
Even if things fail, it’s okay. You had fun. You learned. You lived.
Sometimes you have to remind yourself that two people can have a pleasant time, without having any long-term chemistry.
Not every connection will stick in life.
And that’s okay.
I put myself out there and allowed myself to feel. I was open to being vulnerable. If I had to do it all over again, I would. Keeping it casual seems like a great idea, especially when you’re lonely or bored. But that’s when you need to focus on yourself. Heal whatever has hurt you, and get to know who you are. Date yourself. Fall in love with yourself.
No one will love you if you don’t.
Now, let’s end this with one clear message: there is no shame in casual relationships. If you are at peace with yourself and just don’t have time for a full-time relationship, or if you just want some good old-fashioned fun – do it! Have a great time, be safe and live your best life.
But if you are running into the arms of someone, anyone, out of loneliness, then no. It’s not the move.
And then sometimes it feels great until you grow past that stage. And that’s normal.
Do whatever feels right for you. But open yourself up, whatever the case. Don’t allow this trend of feeling numb and shutting off your emotions become the norm.