At 31 years young, something I’ve noticed more is the (unwanted) commentary about how I need to “hurry and find someone before it’s too late” – whatever that means.
For some reason, people seem to think your life lacks fulfillment, meaning, and completion if you’re single.
If I had to take a magnifying glass to most of the relationships I’ve seen, I would say a significant amount of people aren’t happy – they’re merely comfortable. They settle for comfort because they’re scared of being alone.
But let’s take a moment to talk about what happens when you listen to those little voices in your head that say, “maybe they’re right?” “Maybe time is running out.”
So one day, you decide to step out of your comfort zone and give that guy that isn’t what you’re looking for a chance. After all, he’s practically begging you.
You have your doubts, but you give it a try anyway.
To put it simply: you settle.
I never thought I would be the type to disregard my own standards, but I did.
There was something about this man pursuing me that I couldn’t put my finger on. I was intrigued. He was different from my usual type.
And so it went: I settled – because he seemed like he had the best heart and wasn’t letting his setbacks define him.
Take that, voice in the back of my head!
Yet fast forward a few weeks, and the red flags were no longer questionable.
Usually, I have a pretty set list of qualities or milestones I look for in a partner. Similarly, I also have a list of attributes that I don’t want from someone. And as I learned the hard way, bending on your list can really add unneeded chaos to your life.
Younger me was a “yes girl.” I believed in giving everyone a chance and trying everything.
While I’m not a prude by any means, these days, I am more selective with my time. This includes the people I spend it with and the activities I partake in.
The simple truth is: not everyone is worthy of you or your time. The most priceless thing in this world is your time because once it’s gone, that’s it.
There’s no redo.
How many times have you killed the beautiful flowers growing inside of you simply because someone didn’t appreciate the way you bloomed?
Settling equates to a lack of self-love and being okay with being someone’s sometimes – and who wants that?
We all deserve someone that makes us feel giddy every day.
We deserve someone who engages in random acts of kindness because they want to – not because they hope to gain anything from it.
We deserve someone who is better than “good enough.”
So the next time someone asks why you’re “still” single, remind them that you’re happy and you’re okay being single until you find someone who checks off all of your boxes.
Normalize being single and happy.
Let’s romanticize the single life the way we do relationships.
Remember: settling for crumbs won’t keep you full. You’ll just go to bed starving.