I dated a narcissist so you don’t have to

Can we talk about dating in 2021? You practically need an MD and a working knowledge of psychiatry before even diving out there.

I spent the last two years improving myself from the inside out. After getting to this almost mythical place that felt very Eat Pray Love, I became receptive to new experiences and relationships. 

Little did I know, I would have my very first encounter with a narcissist. 

And so it began.

I met an individual who was witty and kind of cute. He wouldn’t usually pop off the page, as he seemed a little too ordinary. But still, I decided to give it a try.

I went into this wanting nothing serious, just hoping to see what happened.

Things started innocent enough: we watched Boy Meets World, and cooked dinner together, and just enjoyed one another.

Eventually, we kicked things up a notch and decided to make it official. 

Looking back, I think I fell for potential, not reality. I mean, I let someone talk me into a relationship I didn’t want, simply because they were that good with words and future faking.

Before long, things weren’t so picture-perfect. 

Soon, the fantasy was over, and the lightbulbs started going off.

I realized that to him, everything wrong in his life was not his fault. It was always someone else’s.

There was zero accountability.

He was never wrong, yet somehow everything I did was wrong.

This man was a perpetual victim.

I knew that shit wouldn’t be happening again.

If I wasn’t in a good state of mind, this story could have ended much differently.

At their core, narcissists are spineless individuals who don’t want to see you, or anyone happy.

Narcissists prey on empaths and people who see the good in everyone. They are also drawn to successful individuals, and it’s not because they envy that success. It’s because they view you as a challenge. They want to see just how far they can disrupt your life.

Once a narcissist feels they have broken you and shattered your happiness, they’re off to do it to someone else.

There are so many reasons I am grateful for being proactive about self-care and mental health, and this relationship is one of them.

If I was not as in tune with myself or my body, I know that I would still be in this relationship, miserable.

Being truly happy and confident with yourself and your life is so powerful.

Not needing to depend on someone means you have all of the cards.

I truly believe because of my internal healing and work on myself, I was able to see this relationship for what it was: a trap.

When you have a kind heart it can be hard to see just how diabolical some people are. 

But when you know who you are, and you are strong, know this: nothing and no one can break you.

The cool thing about the qualities that drew the narcissist to you? They will be the very qualities that help you heal from this frenzied experience.


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