As we near my final days of life at 30, I wanted to share the last segment of my 30 Things I Wish I Knew series.
You can find Part I here
- You can’t heal what you don’t feel. Healing isn’t fun, contrary to what aesthetic TikTok shows you. It goes deeper than cute designs in your coffee or bath bombs. It’s messy, and you have to do it to be healthy and stop yourself from repeating past lessons. That’s right – no mistakes here, babe – only lessons
- Gaslighting is a real thing. We have seen it in our political leaders, at our jobs, and even in our relationships (romantic and otherwise). Teach yourself about how to recognize this form of emotional abuse. While you’re at it, read up on narcissism and love bombing – you’re welcome…because I just saved you a $200 therapy bill.
- Don’t date someone for their potential. You’re not Bob or Barbara the Builder. This isn’t the Home Depot. I’m 30, going on 31. I don’t have time to build a dream partner. Come right or don’t come at all. And quite frankly, why would I do that in a world where vibrators exist? At some point, we need to recognize that some people are forever wanting to be someone’s project, and they don’t have higher aspirations. If that type of codependency turns you on, best wishes.
- Read more, and I don’t mean social media. Your brain will thank you.
- Don’t date or marry anyone that feels just “alright.” Safety is imperative when it comes to sex, because STD’s are real. And of course safety matters with finances, and maybe a few other things, but you shouldn’t date someone just because they feel safer than what’s out there. Love is messy (not to be confused with toxic,) and you deserve someone that makes you feel alive. If we turned down risks, what would life be? Don’t go for Missionary Max when you can have someone that keeps it fresh and tries new things on the daily.
- Embrace who you are. I can’t cook tofu, sue me. Doesn’t make me any less of an adult someone who can. Seriously. People in this world will judge you for anything and everything, so give them something to talk about by just being yourself. That’s a trend that has yet to catch on. Everyone is trying to be someone other than themselves, and why? You were made different and unique – embrace that.
- Trust that the more someone stabs you in the back, the more God or whatever higher power exists…will bless you in front of them. God doesn’t like ugly. There’s enough room at the table for us all to thrive in our respective areas.
- If they talk about their ex weekly, they’re not over them. But you should be over this situation and exit it expeditiously.
- Talk to your friends and let your friends talk to you, but also be cognizant of the fact therapy is a thing. Even friendships need boundaries.
- Don’t mix 4 bath bombs, a bottle of bath salts, and bath bubbles in one bath. If you do it, OTC probiotics won’t save your vagina, so just call your gyno now. Please don’t ask me how I learned this lesson at 30.
So there you have it. The last of my list. To summarize everything, i would just say trust your gut, love yourself more and chase your dreams because the world really is yours. And maybe one more thing: be strong, but don’t shut yourself off or out from what’s out there. Be vulnerable. Here’s to a new chapter ahead…can’t wait to see what 31 has in store.