the girl in gucci glasses wearing spell and the gypsy dahlia gown. photographed by destynie paige

People-pleasing: let’s talk about it

I’ve spent the bulk of my life walking the line between people-pleasing and simply playing the role of peacekeeper. 

At 31, I’ve had to scale back on that.

While saying “yes” to help a friend might sound innocent enough, eventually when you put everyone else first, you teach them to put you last. And before you know it, you’re surrounded by people who don’t respect you or like you. They merely like what you can do for them

It can be difficult to find, or even have your own voice because you’re worried about what others might think, even if they’re people you hardly know.

But I am here to tell you that there is nothing more liberating than saying “no.” 

Maybe it’s not even saying “no.” Maybe it’s just speaking your mind and stating your beliefs (respectfully,) and standing firm in them. Either way, being you and embracing it? Sexy. Always a vibe.

Spoiler Alert: you can’t please everyone. So you might as well please yourself.

If there is one thing you will never get back, it’s time. Stop wasting yours on people that make you feel like you need to be someone else. Stop pretending to be something else – something, or someone other than you are. 

2 responses to “People-pleasing: let’s talk about it”

  1. Yesss I really feel this. People really think they can just walk all over you because you’re kind.. Creating boundaries has definitely been difficult but soo necessary!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is such a challenge to create and enforce boundaries. Even when I think I’m crushing it, I catch myself in moments of weakness or peer pressure. But as I always say (and try to believe,) progress over perfection — it’s a process!

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at

%d bloggers like this: