If they wanted to, they would

When did we start accepting the bare minimum and allowing ourselves to be treated like we were less than? Not sure who or what is to blame for this seismic shift, but it’s time to put a stop to it.

I do not care who your fave TikTok girl boss is or what relationship advice they’re giving you, but a real love (especially a healthy one,) is not one you should fight for. If someone repeatedly does you wrong, but after some makeup sex and a pseudo-deep conversation it’s all glossed over — that’s not fighting for love. That’s just being stupid.

And listen, this post is written from the perspective of someone who has been there.

The truth is, love doesn’t hurt. It’s not confusing. And settling isn’t love. It’s actually the opposite.

When you settle for someone who doesn’t love you the way you deserve, you are saying you don’t love yourself and that deep down you don’t deserve better.

Well, I am here to tell you, that’s some bullshit.

I’m going to sound like a broken record, but therapy taught me that love, or at least the best love, is one that makes you feel SAFE.

Can you talk to your partner openly and freely? Are you able to be yourself? Or are you merely their hype person, living in the shadows until summoned for their needs whether it be emotional or physical?

At the end of the day, no matter how often someone wants to write this quote off…it’s true:

If they wanted to, they would

Listen, some people might love you in their own twisted way, but until they do the internal work, they can never be what you need or deserve. My point still stands. When someone loves you, there’s nothing that is too much for them.

  • If they wanted to apologize, they would.
  • If they wanted to talk out your concerns, they would.
  • If they wanted to stop talking to other people, they would.

At the end of the day, we all make choices. Remember that. Every day that you’re crying or thinking about someone who did you dirty, just remember one thing: they’re not losing any sleep thinking about you.

And for God’s sake, let me say this once more: doing the bare minimum isn’t love.

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