By now you all know I love good sex. And I like to think I know a thing or two about it. So tonight we are talking about my (and now your) guide to off-the-charts sex.

So let’s kick things off with the obvious: good anything is subjective, including sex. But at its core, good sex is the kind where two consenting adults express their desires and are in tune with one another. Nothing is one-sided unless that’s your kink – more power to you!

In addition to consent and communication, there are a few other takeaways and musts for your next rendezvous:

• Ask the hard questions
  • Okay, these really aren’t hard questions, but whatever. Ask your partner(s) when their last STI test was. Contrary to the popular (yet inaccurate) belief, you may not always know if you have an STI which is why knowledge is power. Many STIs are asymptomatic, and some if left untreated long enough, can even impact fertility.
• Use condoms
  • Whether you’re sleeping with one person or one hundred people, condoms are essential. And listen, the year is 2022 so if someone tells you “I hate the feel,” kick them to the curb. So many brands have mastered the art of condoms that feel like air, including my fave: hims & hers™. They make the best condoms which are not only vibey and aesthetically pleasing but are long-lasting and enjoyable for you and your spicy someone. And let’s not forget that condoms can help prevent unwanted pregnancies and STIs.
• Go for the 64-pack of Crayons
  • Does anyone else remember the Crayola Crayons that were so coveted growing up? You know the ones, they had a sharpener in the back and every shade under the rainbow… Well, think of sex just like that! Knowledge is power in any situation, but especially an intimate one. Add more toys and tools (like lube) for optimal pleasure. And listen, I used to think lube was for old people, but it’s got some perks! You can use your imagination for the many ways to use it on yourself or others. My go to? hers Glide Aloe Vera Lubricant. This lube is fragrance and paraben free and specially formulated so there’s no pH imbalance to come. The ingredient list is pretty clean too, so you can feel good (in more ways than one) when indulging.

So there you have it, y’all! If you’re sexually active you owe it to yourself and your partner to express yourself in a judgment-free zone, communicate your wants, and be safe while having fun! Channel your inner Samantha Jones and have fun.

And to my abstinent readers and friends out there, keep waiting until you’re ready. Being sexually liberated means making the best choices for you. There is no pressure to sleep with anyone, ever. Sex should be one of the most enjoyable parts of life. So if you’re not ready or into it, don’t feel bad! Owning your choices is the hottest thing you can do in this life!