When’s the last time you did something purely for yourself? And no, scrolling TikTok in the dark doesn’t count. I mean something that genuinely filled your cup. Something that reminded you that you exist outside of work, expectations, and whatever mental Olympics you’ve been training for since middle school.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that choosing ourselves is selfish. As if prioritizing our mental health, peace, and sanity is some kind of moral crime. But here’s the plot twist: choosing yourself is one of the most empowering, magnetic, life-changing things you can do.

Selfish? Actually, It’s Called Self-Respect.

When you choose yourself, you don’t become a villain. You become aware. You become confident. You become someone who knows what they value, someone who makes decisions that actually align with the life they want, not the one they’re guilt-tripped into living.

And funny enough? People notice.

Recently, multiple people told me they admired me. Admired me. I honestly didn’t think I was doing anything special, I was just minding my business and trying to live as authentically as possible. Turns out authenticity is so rare that people think it’s admirable. Who knew?

Let’s Rebrand “Selfish,” Shall We?

Being selfish doesn’t mean bulldozing other people’s feelings. It means not abandoning yourself.

Because here’s the truth:
When you chronically put yourself last, you don’t become a hero, you become exhausted, resentful, and burnt out.

Burnout isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a warning sign.
And yet so many of us wear it like it’s couture.

My Summer of Saying No (and Saying Yes to Me)

This summer, I tapped into my inner Julia Roberts circa Eat Pray Love. I stepped back. Took a breath. Stopped trying to prove how “hardworking” and “capable” and “look-at-me-go-go-go” I was.

And listen… I’ve accomplished a lot.
Like, an impressive amount.
But somewhere along the way, I forgot how to actually enjoy any of it.

And after years, literal years of grinding nonstop, juggling every responsibility, saying yes to everyone, and never taking a real break since high school, my body and brain finally said:

Sit. Down.

So I did.
And it changed everything.

I let myself wake up slowly. Sun on my face. Birds doing whatever birds do at ungodly hours. No alarm. No calendar reminders. No meetings. No pressure. Just… me. Breathing. Existing. Feeling alive instead of overwhelmed.

I spent time with the people I love. And I spent time with myself. Both were overdue.

If You’re Burnt Out, Here’s Your Permission Slip

Burnout recovery is not glamorous. It’s not all spa days and matcha lattes (though those don’t hurt). It’s unlearning. Unplugging. Unclenching. And daring to honor your own limits.

Here are actually helpful burnout tips for when your soul feels crispy:

1. Take a Break Before You Break

Seriously. Rest before the crash, not after.

2. Let Something Drop

Not everything needs to be done. Not everything needs to be done by you. And not everything needs to be done today.

3. Reconnect With What Feels Good

Sunlight. Music. Silence. A hobby you forgot existed. Joy doesn’t have to be productive to be valid.

4. Unfollow Anything That Drains You

Accounts, people, habits, expectations. If it sucks your energy, it’s gone.

5. Ask Yourself: What Would Make My Life Feel Softer?

Then do that. Even if it feels “selfish.”

6. Lower the damn bar

You don’t have to be exceptional to be worthy. You are allowed to be okay, not outstanding.

Pause Before Life Forces You To

There’s no trophy for running yourself into the ground.
No award ceremony for self-neglect.
No parade for burnout.

You’re allowed to pause.
You’re allowed to choose yourself.
You’re allowed to give yourself grace, even when it feels uncomfortable, or unfamiliar.

And I promise you this:
When you choose yourself, your life doesn’t fall apart. It finally starts to make sense.