I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: You are not a consolation prize. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, it’s time to let them go. Stop wasting your energy on people who’ve already shown you they’re not interested. It’s painful, but it’s the truth, and it’s time to accept it.

Relationships are meant to be a two-way street. If you’re always the one putting in the effort, always the one trying to get answers, or constantly asking for affection and attention, that’s not love. It’s desperation. And you deserve so much more than that. You deserve someone who sees your worth without hesitation, who wants to be with you because they value who you are, not just as a fallback or when it’s convenient for them.

The Toxic Back-and-Forth: Why It’s Never Worth Going Back

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? The breakup, the tears, the anger…and then the inevitable back together again. It’s exhausting. It’s confusing. It never really leads to anything good. And deep down, you know it.

When someone ends things with you, it’s because they made that choice. No amount of begging, pleading, or hoping they’ll change their mind is going to make them love you any more. Going back and forth only keeps you stuck in a cycle of pain. You’re constantly doubting yourself, questioning your worth, and it’s draining.

Each time you go back, you’re sending a message to yourself: “I’m not enough on my own.” But that’s a lie. You are enough. You are worthy of someone who chooses you wholeheartedly, not as a “maybe” or a last resort.

Cutting Ties: The Tough, But Necessary Step

At some point, you have to stop the cycle. You’ve got to let go…no more waiting for them to come back, no more hoping for some form of closure that may never come. It’s time to move on.

You can’t move forward if you’re still holding onto the past. If you want a fresh start, you have to create the space for it. That means saying goodbye to the emotional baggage that’s been holding you back. Letting go isn’t just about walking away from them, it’s about walking towards yourself. Towards growth, healing, and better things ahead.

When you cut ties, you give yourself the chance to focus on what matters: you. You’ll start rediscovering the things that make you happy, that light you up, and you’ll remember what it feels like to put yourself first.

You Don’t Need Closure: Here’s Why

One of the biggest lies we tell ourselves after a breakup is that we need closure to move on. We tell ourselves, “I need them to explain why they ended things” or “I need them to apologize.” But here’s the truth: you don’t need closure from them, you need closure from within yourself. Besides, if someone disrespects me or tells me they aren’t interested in me anymore, that’s all the closure I need.

Sometimes, people leave with no explanation. And that’s tough, I get it. But waiting for answers that may never come only keeps you stuck. Their reasons for walking away don’t define your worth. The fact that they chose to leave is the closure you need. You don’t need to beg for answers or apologies. You already know what’s best for you, and it’s not someone who can’t prioritize you.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Finally Move On

So, how do you actually stop going back? How do you break free from the toxic cycle of breaking up and getting back together? Here’s how:

1. Cut the Contact
   This might feel extreme, but sometimes, you have to protect yourself. Block their number. Unfollow them on social media. It sounds harsh, but not seeing their updates or receiving random messages helps you heal faster than you think.
2. Lean on the People Who Love You
   Whether it’s friends, family, or a therapist, surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. The more you connect with people who lift you up, the easier it will be to detach from the past and remind yourself that you’re worthy of love and respect.
3. Focus on YOU
   This is your moment to rediscover yourself. Start that hobby you’ve been putting off. Dive into your career. Take a long walk by yourself, and just breathe. The more you focus on filling your life with things that make you happy, the less likely you’ll be to fall back into the trap of an unhealthy relationship.
4. Remember the Red Flags
   Take a step back and think about why the relationship didn’t work. Reflect on the patterns, the behavior that didn’t sit right with you, the moments that left you feeling confused or unappreciated. The more you remind yourself of those red flags, the easier it will be to stay strong.
5. Never Forget Your Worth
   In case you haven’t been told this recently: You are worthy of someone who is all in. Stop wasting time on someone who’s unsure or inconsistent. You deserve someone who chooses you every single day! No questions, no games, no second-guessing.

Letting Go to Make Room for Something Better

Letting go of a relationship is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do. It’s painful, and it feels like you’re giving up on something you once believed in. But staying stuck in the back-and-forth? That’s way worse.

The right person will choose you once, and they’ll keep choosing you. You don’t need to chase anyone or convince them to love you.

You deserve peace, clarity, and love, not confusion, games, or uncertainty. So, let go. Move on. Heal. The future you want is waiting for you, and it’s so much better than anything you’ve left behind.