At 34, I’ve had my share of love lessons, including a three-year relationship with someone showing narcissistic traits. It was full of exciting highs and frustrating lows, but the good news is that moving on and healing is totally possible—and honestly, life gets brighter on the other side.

My Experience With a Narcissistic Relationship

Being with someone manipulative can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. The good moments are fun, but the guilt trips, gaslighting, and emotional drama make it exhausting. There were times when hope and disappointment kept cycling, but finally cutting ties on all platforms felt amazing. That space allowed me to reclaim my energy and remember what joy felt like again.

Navigating Narcissistic Traits

In a world full of pop psychology and people throwing around the term narcissist, it can be confusing to know who really fits the bill. The truth is only a mental health professional can accurately diagnose narcissistic personality disorder. But there are traits to watch for so you don’t gaslight yourself into thinking you’re overreacting. Some patterns to notice include:

• Lack of empathy or caring about feelings
• Craving constant attention or praise
• Manipulating situations to control
• Gaslighting and twisting facts
• Exaggerating accomplishments or feeling entitled
• Isolating from friends or family

Spotting these behaviors early can help you protect your peace.

How to Heal and Move Forward

Healing isn’t a straight line, but it’s so worth it. Here’s what helped me:

• Give yourself space: Feeling all the feels is okay. Journaling and therapy help make sense of emotions.
• Set boundaries: Protect your digital and emotional space by blocking or muting contact everywhere.
• Seek support: Surround yourself with friends who tell the truth with love and honesty.
• Learn about narcissism: Books, podcasts, and articles can help you understand patterns and avoid repeating them.
• Invest in self-care: Exercise, hobbies, and mindfulness restore energy and confidence.
• Redirect energy: Channel leftover emotions into creative projects, learning, or new adventures.

Spotting Red Flags in Future Relationships

Awareness can save you future heartbreak. Ask about past relationships, notice how others are treated, trust your gut, and take things slow. Pay attention to your feelings. If something consistently makes you feel small or anxious, that’s a sign to step back.

Rediscovering Yourself

Healing is a journey, but it’s also an opportunity to fall back in love with yourself. Date yourself, try new things, and focus on what lights you up. Healthy love should feel safe, effortless, and fun. The most important love you’ll ever cultivate is the one you have for yourself.