Can We Talk About Therapy Speak? Because Some of Y’all Are Weaponizing It.

Nothing—and I mean nothing—grinds my gears more these days than people misusing therapy language like it’s a new social currency. You’ve probably seen it too. One minute someone’s on TikTok diagnosing some rando with narcissistic personality disorder, and the next they’re calling their friend “toxic” for setting a boundary they didn’t like.

It’s like the internet skimmed a psychology textbook, threw in a few buzzwords, and said: “Boom. Now you’re qualified to emotionally dissect everyone around you.”
Spoiler alert: you’re not.

What Even Is Therapy Speak?

“Therapy speak” refers to language commonly used in therapeutic settings—think: boundaries, gaslighting, trauma response, emotional regulation, attachment style. When used appropriately, these terms help people communicate with clarity and compassion. But when misused? They can become manipulative, performative, and, honestly, a little dangerous.

Here’s the problem: when you use therapeutic language without nuance, context, or actual understanding, you can twist it into something that sounds correct, but feels completely off.

Real Talk: Here’s What It Looks Like

• Calling someone a narcissist because they hurt your feelings.
  Nope. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a clinical diagnosis, not a synonym for “someone who disappointed you.”
• Saying someone “violated your boundary” when they simply disagreed with you.
  A boundary is something you set for yourself, not a tool to control how others behave.
• Labeling every argument as “emotional abuse” or “gaslighting.”
  Disagreements happen. Miscommunication happens. Gaslighting is a specific, deliberate tactic to make someone question their reality—not just someone being defensive in a tough moment.

It’s giving “I watched three TikToks and now I’m a therapist.”

Why This Is Actually Harmful

1. It invalidates real experiences.
   People who have experienced abuse, narcissistic relationships, or trauma responses often struggle to find the language for their pain. When we throw these terms around loosely, we dilute their meaning and silence those who genuinely need support.
2. It becomes a tool for emotional avoidance.
   Weaponizing therapy speak lets people avoid accountability. Instead of saying, “I messed up,” it becomes “I was triggered” or “That’s just my attachment style.” Growth doesn’t happen without honesty.
3. It keeps us disconnected.
   At its worst, misused therapy language turns relationships into diagnoses and dynamics into diagnoses. It creates a cold, clinical lens through which we analyze instead of feel.

What To Do Instead (Because There Is a Better Way)

• Pause before labeling. Ask yourself: Do I really understand what this word means? Or am I using it to make sense of something uncomfortable?
• Have actual conversations. Say “That hurt my feelings,” not “You’re emotionally immature.” Talk to people, not about them with bubblegum psychology.
• Get curious, not clinical. Try: “I wonder why I’m reacting this way?” instead of, “This is a trauma response because my inner child is activated and you’re clearly anxious avoidant.”
• Go to therapy, not TikTok. Social media is great for starting conversations—but it’s not a substitute for doing the real, sometimes messy work with a professional.

TL;DR?

Language is powerful. It can help us heal, grow, and connect—but only when used with care and intention. Don’t use therapy terms as weapons. Don’t turn human behavior into pathology. And definitely don’t confuse social media validation for self-awareness.

Let people be human. Let yourself be human, too.

As Jean-Paul Sartre once said:

“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.”

And honestly? That’s the kind of emotional work that never needs a viral hashtag.