There’s nothing more infuriating than someone doing you dirty and acting like they’re the victim—or worse, pretending it never happened. No apology. No accountability. Just odd vibes and gaslighting.

So how do you move on when you never got the “I’m sorry” you deserved? 

You forgive anyway.

Not because they’ve earned it, but because you deserve to stop carrying the weight of what they dropped.

Forgiveness Isn’t About Being the Bigger Person

To hell with being the bigger person — it can be overrated. You’re not here to be “bigger.” You’re here to be free. Waiting around for someone to finally realize how badly they hurt you? That’s emotional jail.

Forgiving without an apology isn’t weak.

It’s not letting them off the hook—it’s taking them off your hook.

It’s choosing to move different. Not out of denial, but out of self-respect. It’s knowing you don’t need closure to close the door. Some people stay unaccountable forever—doesn’t mean you have to stay stuck with them. Let them be loud in their silence. You’ll be over here protecting your energy and moving on with your life.

So… Why Forgive If They Don’t Even Feel Bad?

Bestie, am I glad you asked:

• Because you’re tired of replaying that convo in your head every night at 2 a.m.
• Because deep down you know they’re not emotionally evolved enough to own what they did—and you’re done waiting.
• Because your nervous system deserves a break from holding that grudge.

Forgiveness is choosing to let go of the version of the story where they finally come clean. It’s rewriting the ending so you’re the one who walks away lighter.

It’s Not a Switch, It’s a Process

No, you don’t have to suddenly feel zen about what happened. Some days you’ll feel over it. Other days, you’ll see their name on Instagram and spiral into a rage-text to your group chat. That’s okay.

Similar to healing, forgiveness isn’t a linear thing. It’s clumsy, sometimes petty, and often feels like emotional Pilates. But each time you decide, “I’m not wasting another ounce of energy on this,” it gets a little easier.

Some Tools for the Days It’s Extra Hard

• Write the apology you never got. Unfiltered. Angry. Cathartic. You don’t even have to send it. In fact, please don’t. Save it to your notes app — or send to the group chat.
• Therapy or voice notes to your BFF. Sometimes you need to hear yourself say it out loud to release it.
• Block, mute, unfollow. Forgiveness doesn’t mean access. Protect your peace like it’s your skincare routine.
• Zoom out. Think about who you want to be in 5 years. Does that version of you still care what they didn’t say?

And No, You’re Not Being Dramatic

If no one’s told you this: it was messed up. You’re not overreacting or imagining things. You do deserve an apology—the kind that acknowledges your pain and respects your worth. But here’s the thing: waiting for that apology? That’s a trap. Because sometimes, the person who hurt you will never grow up or take responsibility. And that’s not on you.

You deserve better than being stuck in someone else’s emotional immaturity. You deserve peace that doesn’t hinge on their change, joy that’s independent of their actions, and closure that comes from within.

Real closure is a choice you make, not a conversation you wait for. So claim it. Protect your energy fiercely. And walk away knowing you gave yourself the grace and respect you always deserved.

Now give yourself the apology. Then let it go.

“Closure isn’t a conversation. It’s a decision.” — Unknown, but probably someone’s therapist