Being honest doesn’t mean being a dick. And being “real” isn’t a free pass to be a walking red flag.

This post goes out to every single person that’s ever walked away from a conversation thinking, “Wait… was that supposed to be helpful?” 

Congrats, bestie. You’ve just encountered a certain type of person. The one who hides behind honesty to deliver backhanded opinions you never asked for. And spoiler alert: they’re not being real. They’re being miserable. There’s a difference.

Let’s get into it.

But “I’m Just Being Honest”

We all know the type.

They’ll tell you your job isn’t “that impressive,” and your relationship is “a phase.” Then, when you blink too hard, they hit you with:
“Why are you mad? I’m just being honest.”

No, bestie. You’re being an asshole.

And honestly? That’s a YOU problem. Not a me problem.

True honesty comes with intention. With care. With context. If your truth only ever punches down, humiliates, or deflates, it’s not truth. It’s just mean. And you should work on the insecurity you’re very clearly running from.

How to Tell If Your Friend Is Honest or Just Miserable

Here’s your litmus test. Run it. Then run the other way if you need to.

1. An Honest Friend Makes You Feel Seen, Not Small

A real friend will tell you that your situationship is a dumpster fire without making you feel like shit for being in it.

An asshole will clock your emotional turmoil and crack jokes at your expense.

2. An Honest Friend Talks To You, Not At You

They’ll speak their truth to help you grow, not just to hear themselves be “right.”
Meanwhile, the miserable one is giving unsolicited TED Talks at brunch because they’re bored and bitter.

3. An Honest Friend Picks Their Moments

They wait until you’re open. Ready. Receptive.
The miserable friend? Drops these alleged truth bombs with no timing or tact.

4. An Honest Friend Is Self-Aware

They check themselves. They’ve done the work. They know they’re not perfect.
The other one? Thinks every opinion they have is gospel, when really, it’s just projection wrapped in passive aggression.

PSA: Honesty Without Empathy Is Just Bitterness

Can we please retire this toxic “I’m blunt” persona that’s really just unresolved bitterness cosplaying as personality.
You’re not the edgy main character for pointing out someone’s flaws with zero class. You’re just… not kind. And you probably need a journal. Maybe even a therapist.

Being honest doesn’t mean ditching kindness. It doesn’t mean sugarcoating either. It means saying what needs to be said, in a way that actually lands, not wounds. But you know what they say: if you don’t heal what hurt you, you’ll bleed on those that didn’t cut you.

If you’re someone who does keep it real? Keep doing it. We all need honest friends who call us out and call us in.

But if you’re using “truth” as a weapon, maybe start asking yourself:
“Am I helping, or am I just trying to feel superior?”

There’s a difference.
One builds trust. The other burns bridges.

Choose wisely. Or stay bitter. Up to you, bestie.