There’s a TikTok going viral that has me cringing while feeling the most extreme second hand embarrassment. I’m linking it here, but in the event it’s taken down, let me briefly summarize: it’s a girl explaining that her boyfriend is moving out because it’s his dream to live with his brother. Now, I know there was a trend saying to “be delusional” and go after what you want in life…and I love that mindset — 99% of the time. But in this particular instance, bestie…BFFR.

I mean listen, IYKYK: this story has all of the classic signs of a breakup being soft launched.

And to a degree, I get it. Because when it comes to a relationship, there are few things more daunting than ending it. Whether it’s been weeks, months, or even years, the thought of putting an end to something that once made you happy can be overwhelming. And let’s face it, sometimes the end can be messy and painful for both parties involved.

Enter the concept of a “soft launch” breakup. This can be a way of slowly letting your partner know that the relationship is not working out without the abruptness of a full-on breakup.

So what exactly does a soft launch breakup entail? Well, it’s essentially a gradual decline in your partner’s investment in the relationship. You may notice your partner becoming less affectionate, less communicative or less interested in spending time with you. Slowly, but surely, they may begin pulling away.

Signs your partner is soft launching a breakup and giving you Two Weeks Notice:

1. Your communication begins to dwindle: You find that your partner is no longer texting or calling you as frequently. You might even find that they are replying to your messages with short, curt responses.
2. Your quality time together decreases: You may start to notice that your partner is finding excuses to not be with you. Whether it’s cancelling plans or saying that they have other commitments, they seem to be always unavailable.
3. They become distant and disengaged: Your partner may seem emotionally uninvolved in conversations with you. They might not be as interested in topics that used to excite them or they may seem preoccupied with other thoughts.
4. They start to put up walls: You may notice that when you try to discuss your relationship or express your feelings to them, they become defensive or avoidant.

If you’re noticing these signs, it’s important to try and communicate with your partner. If you’re not sure whether they’re soft launching a breakup or simply going through a rough patch, it’s essential to talk to them. Ask them if they feel like something is amiss or if they’re feeling distant. This could give you an opportunity to work towards a solution before it’s too late.

In a soft launch breakup, a person is essentially trying to let their partner down gently. They may be nervous about taking the plunge into a full-on breakup or may be unsure if they are making the right decision. Or they might just be an asshole and trying to have their cake and eat it too. It’s important to be understanding of their feelings, but also to remember that you deserve clarity and closure.

And if you learn nothing else from me, let it be this: the disrespect is the closure, and if someone does not have the ability to properly communicate with you, that’s all the closure you need. Don’t look for a “why.” Let them go.