In my twenties I definitely walked the line of completely emotionally unavailable and honestly, a little cold. Listen, I wasn’t an asshole or anything but I was the definition of a “boss babe.” I pretty much only focused on college, work, philanthropy and my social life. When it came to my love life, I was disconnected and really only dated casually. Which worked for where I was in that time of life. Ask me if I have any regrets, and I can promise you, I don’t.

But what happens when your past life tries to catch up to the present?

Recently, I had an old fling from years ago circle back into my life, and let me tell you, it was a trip down memory lane that I wasn’t necessarily ready for.

Initially, I tried to be polite and let him down easy, saying that I moved on, because who I was at 23 wasn’t who I was at 33. I wished him the best on his new ventures and thought that was that.

Side note, why do I talk to exes like a corporate monster, when I’m done with them?

Back to the point, as you might assume, things didn’t seem to stick, and he kept coming back for more attention. It got to the point where I realized that sometimes, silence is the best response. Because, let’s face it, some people have a way of twisting even a simple “no” into a potential “maybe”. Let this solidify my stance that ghosting is completely a-okay when someone doesn’t respect a boundary.

Now, if you’re bored or lonely you might welcome a blast from the past, but here’s why is it important to resist the temptation of going back to past flings:

1. You’ve grown and changed: Let’s face it, we’re not the same people we were years ago. That’s a good thing. We’ve had experiences, learned lessons, and grown as individuals. Going back to a past fling is like trying to fit into a pair of True Religion jeans from high school – it just doesn’t work anymore. Embrace the person you’ve become and keep moving forward.
2. Baggage alert: We all have baggage from our past relationships, whether we want to admit it or not. Revisiting a past fling can bring up old wounds or insecurities that you thought you had moved past. It’s important to acknowledge that baggage and not let it creep back into your life.
3. New opportunities await: By holding onto the past, you may be closing yourself off to new and exciting opportunities that could be right around the corner. Who knows what amazing experiences or connections you could be missing out on by constantly looking back instead of forward?

It’s time to stand on business and leave the past where it belongs – in the rearview mirror.