Ah, ghosting. It’s one of those terms that elicits a mix of disbelief and bemusement. As if dating isn’t complicated enough, now we have a phenomenon where people just…disappear. At 34 years young, I finally experienced my first ghosting episode this year, and instead of wallowing like a sad bitch, I remembered I was a bad bitch. But seriously. I embraced it as a sign that the individual who couldn’t pick up the phone (or tab,) simply wasn’t my person. So, what do you do when you’re ghosted? Spoiler: the answer is nothing. You’re not a dog. Don’t beg. Especially for the bare minimum.

What Is Ghosting, Really?

In dating, ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation. Ghosting can happen during any stage of dating, and it often leaves one person feeling confused and hurt.

But here’s the kicker: ghosting doesn’t have to signify the end of your dating journey. In fact, it can be a blessing in disguise.

Why Do People Ghost?

Understanding the reasoning behind ghosting can help you take a step back and realize it’s not always personal. Here are a few common reasons people ghost:

1. Fear of Confrontation: Let’s face it, breaking up is hard. For some, it feels easier to disappear than to have an awkward conversation.
2. Lack of Connection: Often, people realize they’re not feeling a spark. Instead of providing feedback, they opt for the easy way out—ghosting. If you’ve been seeing someone for months, or even years, getting ghosted is not ideal. But if you went on one or two dates, life goes on…don’t cry over spilled milk.
3. Overwhelmed by Emotions: In today’s fast-paced dating landscape, feelings can develop quickly. Sometimes, the intensity can lead to someone wanting to withdraw entirely.
4. Desire for Freedom: For some individuals, relationships represent a loss of independence. Ghosting can be a misguided attempt to reclaim personal time.
5. Solely Seeking Fun: Some people are in the dating scene just for casual experiences. When they find someone who wants something more serious, they might ghost to avoid awkward conversations.

What to Do When You’re Ghosted

So, you’ve been ghosted? First off, take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are not alone, and it’s not your fault. Truthfully, it’s a rite of passage in the modern dating world. Don’t chase after answers that may never come. Instead, focus on yourself:

• Reflect and Move On: If someone ghosts you, it potentially signifies that they weren’t the right match. Take it as confirmation and move forward with your search for someone who genuinely appreciates you.
• Reassess Your Options: Use this opportunity to explore other potential connections. Focus on people who communicate openly and are excited to share their lives with you.
• Practice Self-Care: Engage in activities that make you feel good—whether that’s diving into a new hobby, hitting the gym, or indulging in a Netflix binge.
• Stay Positive: Remember, dating should be fun. Each experience, even the less-than-ideal ones, teaches us something valuable about ourselves and what we want in a partner.

The Bottom Line

Ghosting is a frustrating aspect of dating, but it doesn’t have to define your experience. At 34, when I finally faced the sting of being ghosted, I chose to embrace it as a reminder that the right person for me wouldn’t disappear without a trace. So if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember: you’ve got options.