We all know the type. The ones who need constant reassurance, overthink every text, or act like your “seen” status determines their self-worth. Insecurity isn’t a dealbreaker. Insecurity that isn’t being addressed? That’s a whole different story.

Dating someone like that is exhausting. You end up bending over backward, apologizing for things you didn’t do, explaining yourself for the hundredth time, and feeling like you’re always failing, except it’s not you.

You’re Not Their Therapist

Supporting someone is fine. Listening is fine. But being their unpaid therapist? Not your job.

If their happiness depends on you constantly validating them, it’s going to drain you. Fast.

Charm, humor, and brunch dates at 11 a.m. don’t erase anxiety or jealousy or constant self-doubt. And the longer you stay, the more you realize their problem isn’t fixable by good vibes alone.

Growth Is Sexy, Clinginess Isn’t

Everyone has baggage. Everyone overthinks things sometimes. That’s life.

What separates someone worth dating from someone who isn’t ready is self-awareness and effort. Are they reflecting on their behavior? Are they trying to be better? Or are they expecting you to carry their insecurities like it’s your full-time job?

If it’s the latter, run. No amount of “you’re amazing” texts is going to make up for someone refusing to look inward. You’ll be emotionally drained, stressed, and constantly questioning yourself.

Emotional Availability Means They Can Handle Themselves

A healthy relationship isn’t someone who never feels insecure. It’s someone who owns their feelings, reflects, apologizes when needed, and grows without making you the emotional punching bag.

If they aren’t doing that work, they aren’t ready. And no matter how fun or funny or good-looking they are, it’s going to feel impossible to keep up.

Protect Your Energy, Your Heart, and Your Time

Dating someone who isn’t growing is draining. At first, it might feel chaotic, exciting, or addictive. But eventually, it’s just anxiety, frustration, and guilt wrapped up in a package that pretends to be love.

Your energy is limited. Your heart is limited. Your time is limited. Don’t spend it fixing someone who refuses to do the work. You deserve a partner who’s already doing the work, not someone who needs you to do it for them.

The Reality Check

Love isn’t a miracle cure. You can’t make someone self-aware. You can’t make someone ready for a real relationship. You can’t make someone want to grow.

So when someone is insecure, ask yourself: are they actually working on themselves, or are you just their emotional crutch?

Because only one of those options leaves you feeling whole.