Let’s have a real talk moment.

I’ve dated deeply insecure people twice. Once was enough. Twice was a masterclass. The first time? They put me through the emotional wringer — think subtle manipulation, nonstop self-comparison, emotional outbursts masked as “deep feelings,” and an exhausting obsession with control masked as “love.” The second time around, I spotted the signs early (because growth!), and when the red flags started stacking up like a Jenga tower at a wine night, I didn’t wait for the crash. I left. Technically, I ghosted.

Why? Because self-respect is non-negotiable. Peace is priceless.

One of the final straws? This person told me I was “too happy” and that I “needed to be humbled.” (Let that marinate for a second.) Translation: They couldn’t handle my light, so they wanted to dim it. And that, friends, is where the line is drawn.

The Quiet Danger of Dating Deeply Insecure People

Insecurity isn’t inherently evil — we all have our moments. But deeply rooted, unexamined insecurity? That’s a different beast. It’s not just personal baggage; it becomes a wrecking ball swinging at the foundation of your mental and emotional well-being.

Here’s what happens when you date someone drowning in their own self-hate:

• They weaponize your confidence because it reminds them of what they think they lack.
• They create constant drama to distract from their internal chaos.
• They guilt-trip you for having boundaries or other healthy relationships.
• They mistake control for love and expect you to play therapist, cheerleader, and emotional hostage.
• They punish your happiness because they haven’t found theirs.

Sound familiar? It’s not love, bestie. It’s emotional codependency dressed in top-shelf insecurities.

You Can’t Heal People Who Don’t Want to Heal

If you’re a naturally empathetic person, you might find yourself attracted to “fixer-uppers.” But let me say this loud for the ones in the back: You are not a rehab center for the broken. If someone’s self-worth is in the negative, no amount of affirmation, affection, or romantic weekends will save them — especially if they don’t want to save themselves.

And when you’re their partner, not their therapist, you’re left carrying the emotional weight they refuse to lift. That’s not partnership. That’s spiritual erosion.

Leaving Is the Strongest Form of Self Care

Walking away from toxic, low-vibrational, self-hating people isn’t cold-hearted — it’s divine protection. It’s you saying: I deserve more than walking on eggshells just to keep someone else from cracking. Protecting your peace is your birthright, not a luxury.

When I left the second time — calm, clear, and unapologetic — I didn’t feel guilty. I felt free. I felt light. I felt like me again. And that’s the kind of love story I’m rooting for: the one where you choose yourself.

TLDR: Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Date Deeply Insecure People

• They see your light and want to dim it.
• Their insecurity becomes your burden.
• Joy becomes a battlefield.
• Boundaries feel like betrayal to them.
• Healing can’t happen in a toxic environment.

If you’re reading this while questioning your current situation, consider this your gentle-but-firm reminder: You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. You deserve love that feels safe, expansive, and aligned — not one that makes you question your worth every time you smile too big.

Protect your peace. Guard your joy. Date people who clap when you shine.

Because you’re not “too happy” — you’re just finally home in yourself.