Let’s Talk About Self-Care (The Real Kind)

If you’d told me in my early 20s that self-care wasn’t just face masks and retail therapy, I probably would’ve side-eyed you while applying my third layer of Dior highlighter (which I still love, BTW). Fast forward to now—in my thirties, a little wiser, a little less exhausted—and I finally get it.

Self-care is less about what you put on your skin and more about what you don’t let into your spirit.

1. Boundaries Are a Form of Self-Care

Back then, I said yes to everything—happy hours I didn’t want to go to, toxic relationships I thought I could fix, jobs that drained me. Why? Because I thought being liked meant being worthy.
Now? My peace is the priority. Saying no doesn’t make you selfish—it makes you powerful.

If you’re searching for ways to set boundaries, start with your time, your energy, and your inbox. You don’t owe everyone access to you.

2. Rest Is Not a Reward

In my 20s, I treated rest like a luxury I had to earn. All-nighters, endless hustle, and a glorified grind culture nearly burned me out.
Here’s what I know now: rest is part of the work. Your body and mind need recovery time to create, connect, and thrive.

So go ahead—sleep in, unplug, cancel plans without guilt. That’s not lazy, it’s literate in wellness.

3. Your Circle Shapes Your Self-Worth

Let’s be real. Some of the people I kept around in my 20s didn’t clap when I won. They liked me small, unsure, and dependent. But growth has a way of shaking loose what no longer fits.
In your 30s, you crave friendships that feel like soft landings—safe, supportive, sacred.
Surround yourself with people who pour into you, not poke holes in your confidence.

4. Mental Health Deserves Your Full Attention

I ignored a lot of red flags in myself: situational anxiety I laughed off, sadness I styled over, burnout I called “busy.” Therapy and self-awareness changed everything.
If you’re Googling “signs you might need therapy in your 20s”—that’s a sign in itself.

There’s power in naming your struggles and even more in healing them.

5. You Don’t Have to Earn Your Glow-Up

The biggest myth I bought into? That I had to achieve or perform to deserve love, joy, or even a break. Nope. You’re already enough.
Your glow-up isn’t just about looks or lifestyle—it’s about alignment. When your values, your energy, and your choices match the woman you’re becoming? That’s the real glow.

Self-Care Isn’t a Trend, It’s a Foundation

If you’re in your 20s reading this, I see you. I was you. Figuring it all out, making mistakes, learning the hard way. Give yourself grace.

If you’re in your 30s like me? Maybe you’re just now starting to understand what you really need—and that’s beautiful too.

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential to not only survive, but thrive.