Holidays are weird. One minute you are elbow-deep in mashed potatoes, the next your phone lights up with a “hey stranger” from your ex. Instant spiral.
Why now? What do they want? Is this a sign? Are they lonely?

Pause. Because most of the time, it is not about you.

Holiday ex texts are rarely romantic. They are emotional muscle memory. Nostalgia. Boredom. Loneliness. Horniness. People have too much time, too many feelings, and not enough self-control this time of year.

Why Exes Reach Out During the Holidays

If you are wondering why exes text during the holidays, here is the real, unfiltered list:

• Loneliness and nostalgia hit harder now
  The holidays turn emotions all the way up. People miss routines, familiarity, and who they used to be in certain relationships. That does not automatically mean they miss you. Often, they miss comfort.
  • Ask yourself one question before responding. Do they miss me, or do they miss not feeling alone?
• History (and Familiarity) is powerful
  • If you spent past holidays together, reaching out feels automatic. Familiar does not equal healthy. It just means the pattern has not fully broken yet.
• They are testing the waters
  • Some exes want reassurance. Some want attention. Some are unhappy where they are and want to see if you would still answer. That is not love. That is ego and fear of being alone.

How to Respond Without Overthinking

If you decide to reply, keep it simple and self-protective.

Pause before responding. You do not owe anyone immediate access to your time or emotions.
Keep it short. “Happy holidays” or “hope you are well” is enough. No follow-up questions. No reopening doors.
Honor your boundaries. If replying brings anxiety, you are allowed to ignore the message. Blocking is not dramatic. It’s healthy.
Do not assign meaning. A text is not an apology, a plan, or proof of change. It is just a text.

Please Stay Unbothered

Ex texts during the holidays are almost always about the sender. They are lonely, sentimental, bored, or seeking validation. You do not have to participate.

Someone once told me that life keeps sending the same lesson until you finally learn it. That does not mean beating yourself up. It means choosing yourself faster next time.

Protect your peace the same way you protect your phone battery. Close the apps that drain you. And block people who want to do the same.

The holidays are for joy, chosen family, real connection, and peace of mind. You deserve to be a first choice, not an afterthought squeezed in between dinner plates and family debates about who ruined the mac and cheese.

Focus on the people who show up consistently. Let old baggage stay in the past. Forgive quietly and move forward without explaining yourself.

At the end of the day, your peace is worth more than a half-hearted holiday text from someone who already had access and lost it.