Holidays are kinda unhinged.

One minute you’re balls-deep in mashed potatoes. The next, your phone lights up with a casual “hey stranger” from your ex. Immediate spiral.

Why now?
What do they want?
Is this a sign?
Are they lonely? Or are they just trying to bang?
Should I respond?

Before you go any further. Know this: most of the time, this has nothing to do with you.

Holiday texts from exes are rarely romantic. They are emotional muscle memory. Nostalgia. Boredom. Loneliness. Horniness. Too much free time, too many feelings, and not enough self-control. Somehow they decide to make that your problem.

Why Exes Always Crawl Back During the Holidays

If you’re wondering why exes text during the holidays, here is the honest answer. No sugarcoating. No “maybe it means something” bs.

1. Loneliness and Nostalgia Are Loud AF Right Now

The holidays turn emotions all the way up. People miss routines. They miss familiarity. They miss who they were when life felt easier.

That does not automatically mean they miss you.

Most of the time, they miss comfort, not connection.

Before you reply, ask yourself one brutal question:
Do they miss me, or do they just hate being alone right now?

Those are not the same thing, no matter how nicely the text is worded.

2. Familiarity Is Powerful and Still Not the Same as Healthy

If you spent holidays together before, reaching out feels automatic. Easy. Low effort.

But familiar does not mean safe.
Familiar does not mean aligned.
Familiar does not mean they have grown.

It just means the emotional habit has not fully broken yet.

And habits love to resurface when people are bored, lonely, or staring at Christmas lights wondering how their life ended up here.

3. They Are Testing the Waters, Not Confessing Love

Let’s be honest.

Some exes want reassurance.
Some want attention.
Some are unhappy where they are and need an ego snack.
Some just want to know they still could have you.

That is not romance.
That is not growth.
That is fear of sitting alone with their own thoughts.

If someone only remembers your existence when they feel lonely, sentimental, or drunk on holiday vibes, that tells you everything you need to know.

How to Respond Without Overthinking Yourself Into a Spiral

If you decide to reply, keep it simple and self-protective.

Pause before responding. You do not owe anyone immediate access to your time or emotions.

Keep it short. “Happy holidays” or “hope you are well” is enough. No follow-up questions. No reopening doors you worked hard to close.

Honor your boundaries. If replying gives you anxiety, you are allowed to ignore the message. Blocking is not dramatic. It is healthy.

Do not assign meaning. A text is not an apology. It is not a plan. It is not proof of change. It is just a text.

Please Stay Unbothered

Ex texts during the holidays are almost always about the sender. They are lonely, bored, nostalgic, or seeking validation. You do not have to participate.

Life keeps sending the same lesson until you learn it. That does not mean shaming yourself. It means choosing yourself faster next time.

Protect your peace the way you protect your phone battery. Close the apps that drain you. Block people who do the same.

The holidays are for joy, chosen family, real connection, and peace of mind. You deserve to be a first choice, not an afterthought squeezed in between dinner plates and arguments about who ruined the mac and cheese.

Focus on the people who show up consistently. Let old baggage stay in the past. Forgive quietly and move forward without explaining yourself.

At the end of the day, your peace is worth more than a half-hearted holiday text from someone who already had access and lost it.