I’ve always found it interesting that September gets treated like a second January. And I get why. Fall is a season of transition. The leaves start changing and falling, summer winds down, school starts back up, routines shift, and suddenly everyone seems ready to get their shit together again. There’s something about September that makes you want to take stock of your life and decide what needs to change.
But I don’t really want to treat it like a reset this year.
I’d rather treat September like a checkpoint.
When I actually stop and compare myself now to who I was in January, I’ve changed quite a bit. Some of it was intentional. Some of it came from choices that worked out, and some that definitely didn’t. But I’ve gotten much better at trusting that things work out for me even when I can’t immediately see how.
I don’t need every decision to make sense right away anymore.
I’ve also gotten tired of complaining about the same things.
There were situations I knew I didn’t like, but I kept tolerating them. I’d complain, get frustrated, talk about how badly I wanted something to change, and then somehow expect the situation to change without me doing anything differently.
Eventually I had to admit that I had more control than I was acting like I did.
Changing things wasn’t always comfortable. Sometimes it meant leaving things I was used to. Sometimes it meant disappointing people. Sometimes it meant admitting that something I had invested time and energy into just wasn’t right for me anymore.
But being uncomfortable for a little while seemed a lot better than staying unhappy and complaining about the same thing for another year.
A big part of that has been becoming much less willing to tolerate disrespect. I don’t want to spend another second of my time convincing someone to treat me well or explaining why something hurt me over and over again. There are things worth working through, obviously, but there’s a difference between working through something and repeatedly volunteering yourself for the same situation.
I’ve gotten better at knowing the difference.
Take a Look at Who You Were in January
I think we’re so hyper-focused on what we haven’t accomplished that we forget to look at who we’ve become.
Before you make a new list of things you need to accomplish before December, look at yourself in January.
Are you happier now? Do you trust yourself more? Are there things you used to tolerate that you wouldn’t put up with today? Did you finally leave something you knew wasn’t working? Did you get better at saying no? Did you stop caring so much about disappointing people?
Those things matter.
Growth doesn’t always look like a promotion, a relationship, a new house, a bigger paycheck, or some other milestone you can easily point to. Sometimes growth is more subtle. Sometimes it’s realizing you don’t want something anymore. Sometimes it’s finally making the decision you’ve been avoiding.
And sometimes you realize you’ve outgrown something without needing to decide that it was ever bad.
That’s been a big one for me.
Not everything I’ve left behind was a mistake. Some things were good for a period of my life and just stopped fitting. I don’t need to rewrite the past to justify moving forward.
You can appreciate where you’ve been and still decide you don’t want to go back.
I’m Not Chasing the Timeline I Thought I’d Have
When I was younger, I had a pretty specific idea of what my life would look like by this age. I thought I’d be a politician, or an advertising executive climbing the corporate ladder, or a stay-at-home wife spending my free time volunteering.
Instead, I went from pre-law to advertising and built a career I genuinely love, even if I maybe didn’t love every single place I worked at. I’ve also reached a point where I’m not sure I need to spend my entire life trying to get to the very top of the corporate ladder just because I can.
Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.
I’m surprisingly okay with not knowing.
I spent a lot of my twenties thinking I needed to decide exactly what I wanted and then build my life around that decision. Now I think one of the best things I’ve done is give myself permission to change my mind.
The same thing happened with relationships. I thought I’d have that part of my life figured out by now. Instead, I’ve become more confident and happier being single than I ever expected to be.
My standards might sound high to some people. I don’t really think they are. I just like my life, and I’m not interested in changing it just to say I have a relationship.
I’ve stopped chasing timelines as much. I’d rather be happy than on schedule. When I was too focused on timelines and checklists, I didn’t realize how much of my actual life I was rushing through just to get to the next thing. I still want to be ambitious, but I also want to be present enough to actually enjoy what I’m building. What’s the point of working so hard toward the life you want if you’re too busy planning the next milestone to notice the one you’re living?
September Is a Checkpoint
So that’s what September feels like to me this year.
Not a reset. Not a deadline. Just a chance to stop and take stock.
Look at what worked. Look at what didn’t. Look at what changed you. Look at what you’re done tolerating. Look at what you want more of.
And then look at yourself.
I’m not where I thought I’d be. I don’t have everything figured out. Some things are still completely TBD.
But I’m happier. I trust myself more. I like the life I’m building.
When I compare that person to who I was in January, I don’t feel behind.
I feel like I’ve grown.
And honestly, I’d rather notice that than spend another month convincing myself I need to become someone completely different.
September doesn’t need to be a fresh start.
Sometimes you just need to realize how far you’ve already come.
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